Starmer Puts on His Thinking Cap to Finally Define 'Working People' for His Tax Pledge—Because Who Knew It Was So Complicated?

Well, here we are again, folks! Sir Keir Starmer is on a mission to tell us just who the "working people" are, as if we needed a PhD in semantics to figure it out. You'd think Labour would have learned their lesson after promising not to raise taxes on working folks during the election, but no—apparently “working people” is still a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Meanwhile, the government is cooking up plans to tax asset sales, freeze income tax thresholds, and shake up inheritance tax. But don’t worry, the Prime Minister assures us that working people won't feel a pinch. Right, because we all know how well that went last time someone said they were “protecting” us.

When pressed about who counts as a working person, the Prime Minister had a go at defining it. He said it’s someone who “goes out and earns their living,” as if those of us clocking in 40 hours a week plus overtime aren’t working hard enough. And no, apparently if you’ve got a few quid tucked away in stocks or property, you’re not in the club. Must be nice to have that luxury!

Then we had Treasury minister James Murray chiming in, refusing to “get into too many hypotheticals.” Can’t imagine why—it sounds like a solid strategy for dodging the tough questions. He said they want to protect those who “get their income from work,” which begs the question: is that just the income you can’t write off when it comes to tax time?

Labour’s manifesto promised not to raise income tax, National Insurance, or VAT. But here’s a fun twist: they’ve kept the option open to freeze income tax thresholds indefinitely. So, as our wages rise (if they ever do), more of us will get dragged into higher tax brackets. Cheers for that!

And don’t even get me started on National Insurance for pension pots. What a lovely little “tax on work” that will be, all while pretending it’s a good thing for employees.

Even Labour’s own Lord Blunkett is scratching his head, wondering if we need to “find a different phraseology” for who qualifies as working. Well, that’s comforting. If even the politicians don’t know what they’re talking about, how are we supposed to?

Rumor has it they’re also considering hikes on capital gains tax and a nice little bump in inheritance tax. Because why not squeeze the life out of us while we’re still standing? After all, only 4% of people die, right?

And just to top it all off, recent stats reveal that in 2020, a whopping 11% of households owned shares. I guess the rest of us will just have to keep dreaming. Thanks for the clarity, everyone! It’s great to know that when it comes to our hard-earned cash, the only thing that’s certain is confusion.